Story

My Trip to China
by Patti Brabson

Patti Brabson tells about the adventure of adopting her daughter, Teaghan Callista.

April 5, 2000, was an overcast, humid day in the Chinese city of Chongqing. It’s also the day my life changed forever when my daughter, Teaghan Callista Brabson, was placed in my arms. This is our story.

(Before I go on I must say that at that wonderful moment when I first held her, nine-month-old Teaghan took one look at me and screamed her head off. Apparently I was the first blond, blue-eyed Caucasian she had ever seen!)

Family has always been very important to me. My sister and I grew up in a close, loving family in a small town, surrounded by a large extended group of aunts, uncles and cousins. Both my parents came from big families and maintained close ties. Holidays and special occasions were celebrated with family parties. I always assumed I would marry, have children, and continue in that tradition.

When I hit forty, I began to realize that these hopes might not materialize. After several serious relationships I had yet to find a Mr. Right who saw me as Ms. Right. And that biological clock kept on ticking. I knew I could take care of a baby on my own. For the past 23 years I had taught in the local school system, I owned my two-bedroom condo, and my car was paid for. I began to consider my options. My age and family history made medical fertility procedures a long shot. Besides, I preferred to help a child who already existed than take the extreme measures necessary for me to bring a child into the world.

As a single older woman, international adoption seemed my best bet. I wanted an infant and I was also very concerned about a birth mother coming along at some point to reclaim the baby. At this time I was only slightly aware of the situation with baby girls in China, but it seemed like a possibility for me. I might have stayed at this "mulling over" point indefinitely if my sister Penny hadn’t brought me a flier advertising an informational seminar given by an adoption agency.

In November 1998, I attended Reaching Out Thru International Adoption, Inc.’s seminar in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. I came away feeling positive that this was something I could do. The speakers included Jeannene Smith, the agency’s founder and mother of two adopted children, and they all impressed me with their knowledge and compassion. The adoptive parent panel spoke highly of the agency and of their experiences. Information was presented about adoption in several different countries, but by the end I knew China was going to be the place for me. The plight of the abandoned baby girls touched and horrified me. I couldn’t change the situation, but I had the power to help one little girl. I came away with that goal. I had also found my adoption agency.

My family, who had always supported me in everything, were behind me all the way. I knew I would need their help, love and emotional support now more than ever. My mother Gloria, sister Penny and brother-in-law Charlie were as excited as I was about the prospect of a baby in the family, and promised financial help.

Then came the paperwork. I started in January 1999, turning my dining room table into "Adoption Central". On the very good advice of my agency I kept things in three separate piles: Dossier, Home Study, and I.N.S. (Things seemed less overwhelming if I could stay as organized as possible.) The agency provided checklists for the documents needed. I found it helped to have easy access to a photocopier and a friendly Notary.

Prospective adoptive parents are often nervous about the Home Study, as it includes meetings with a social worker, one of which takes place in your home. Reaching Out staffers reassured me that this was not a "white glove inspection"; rather, the social worker was there to help you prepare yourself for a big lifestyle change.

Slowly my documents started to come together. I tried to keep my "eyes on the prize", congratulating myself each time I could cross an item off my checklist. My packet was finally ready to be sent to China in June 1999. I was later to discover that Teaghan had been born just about the time my information arrived in China!

Then came the long wait. I tried to stay upbeat and busied myself by turning my sewing room into a nursery. Disappointing news arrived from the I.N.S.: in order to deal with "Y2K concerns" (remember those?) I.N.S. branches in China would shut down for a month. That backed things up right into the Lunar (Chinese) New Year, when the Chinese offices shut down for several weeks. Delay was following delay.

Of course, 2000 arrived uneventfully. On February 2, 2000 I was teaching my second grade class about Groundhog’s Day when I was summoned into the school office. Jeannene Smith was on the phone. She had received the long-awaited referral: a baby girl, Wen Xi, born June 29, 1999, had been offered to me for adoption. A picture would follow the next day. I think the school staff was as excited as I was!

Her picture, when it arrived, was as beautiful as her story was heartbreaking. She had been abandoned on July 13, 1999 in a railroad station next to a police headquarters in the city of Chongqing, Sechuan province. It was judged that she was two weeks old, so her birth date was set at June 29. At the time her documentation was completed she was five months old, small but in good health and living in the Chongqing Children’s Welfare Institute. That is all I would ever know about her history.

Now my dream had a face; a gorgeous little face in a photograph that I showed off to all the relatives. I was anxious to leave for China right away, but putting the trip together took longer than I had anticipated. It was almost eight weeks before I left. Teaghan would be nine months old when I got her. (I didn’t think of her as "Wen Xi". That was simply a name given to her by the orphanage.) While I waited, I would look at her picture and say, "I’m coming, honey. Hold on!"

It was during this time that I was interviewed by Joyce Koo of New Jersey Network TV for NJN’s "Red Thread" Chinese adoption documentary. Some of the video footage I took of my overseas trip was later used in the program.

On March 30, 2000 I left from Newark Airport and changed planes in Detroit for a direct flight to Beijing. I had packed one large and very heavy suitcase on wheels, one carry-on, and an umbrella stroller. That stroller turned out to be worth its weight in gold, as I would be maneuvering baby and baggage through several airports. For the outgoing trip I jammed to stroller into an old ski bag, surrounded it with disposable diapers and duct-taped the whole thing shut. It looked like I was shipping a mummy to China, but it worked beautifully. (I discarded the ski bag in China.)

I made this leg of the journey by myself. I had traveled on my own before and really felt no qualms about this trip. (Or at least very few.) I think my family was more worried that I was about traveling solo, but we all agreed that the cost of a companion’s trip would be better spent on the baby after she and I returned. I knew that once I got to Beijing I would be met and escorted on the rest of the trip by representatives of the agency. In Beijing I would also meet up with Barbara from Baltimore, another single adoptive mother. Since no one else from my agency was traveling at that time, her agency worked with mine to put us together. I think we both appreciated the company as the other family in our small group wouldn’t join us until Chongqing.

The flight was smooth but long. We left Detroit at 4:00 p.m. and arrived in Beijing 13 hours later, local time 6:00 p.m. We were flying with the sun so it never really got dark. I could see lots of snow in Canada. We flew over Alaska, Russia, Korea, and finally China. The misty blue tiers of mountains were beautiful. I couldn’t believe I was really there.

I was so glad I had chosen the option of three days’ sightseeing in Beijing! Barbara and I were picked up every morning by Nina, our wonderful guide, who packed plenty of activity into each day. We toured the Hu Tong (the old section of Beijing) by bicycle rickshaw; we visited temples, the Summer Palace, Bei Hai Park, Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City and the Great Wall. Meals were all prepaid, either at local restaurants or the hotel. The food was delicious, even when we didn’t know what we were eating. I was having such a good time I felt like I was on vacation! In addition, these days gave me a chance to get over my jet-lag and get acclimated. For instance, since their tap water is undrinkable, the hotels all deliver canisters of boiling water to the rooms, usually twice a day. Tea making supplies were provided and some hotels had mini refrigerators. I soon got the hang of leaving out cups of water to cool for tooth brushing.

On April 4 Barbara and I flew to Chongqing, where we were met by Shi Gu, our adoption coordinator. He would shepherd us through the entire process and was wonderfully kind and helpful. We checked in at the Yangtze Holiday Inn and I was excited to see a crib already set up in my room! The hotel was beautiful, very modern, new and well-run, and very Americanized. The other hotels I stayed in during the trip were all fine, but this one was positively luxurious!

April 5 was Baby Day. We were driven to the Chongqing Children’s Welfare Institute and escorted into a waiting room. A few toddlers were visible through some open doors, but I had been told by the agency not to expect a tour of the facility. The Chinese are aware that their facilities do not measure up to U.S. standards. Barbara and I waited nervously. The other family would not arrive until that afternoon, and Shi Gu would care for their new daughter until then.

And then they brought in the babies. All three were adorable and dressed in the Chinese fashion of layer upon layer of clothes. I knew Teaghan at once. It was overwhelming! Here was the child I would care for and cherish the rest of my life. She was carried in by her foster mother. I had been informed when I arrived in Chongqing that Teaghan had been moved to a foster home to better prepare her for adoption. This was rather unusual in Chinese adoption. The foster mother was a widow caring for her elderly parents, and worked with one baby at a time under the supervision of the orphanage.

As I’ve said previously, Teaghan was not impressed when her foster mother put her into my arms. Her screams echoed around the room as I thanked the foster mother, first in English, then Mandarin ( one of the few phrases I learned). I was told that babies often get very attached to their foster mothers, making it a bit hard on the adoptive parents at first, but the individual attention Teaghan had received made it worth the difficulties. She had obviously been well cared for.

Shi Gu helped us fill out some forms and acted as translator so I could ask the foster mother about Teaghan’s eating and sleeping schedule. Teaghan had stopped wailing when her foster mother held her as I signed the forms, and got right back to it when she was handed again to me. We said our goodbyes; her foster mother smiled and kissed Teaghan, but then walked away very quickly and did not look back.

I carried Teaghan, still screaming, out of the orphanage and we drove back to the hotel. I tried giving her some formula but she wasn’t interested- it probably interfered too much with her screaming. At last I tried popping a Cheerio into her mouth each time she opened it to wail, and things began looking up. She calmed down enough to eat some lunch and play with some of the toys I had packed. I was even able to call my mother in New Jersey and tell her, "I’ve got her and you won’t believe how beautiful she is!"

That afternoon we went to the Civil Affairs Office to make it official and then on to a Notary Office, which was six flights up without an elevator. Dinner back at the hotel went well. Teaghan was still wary of me, but had a good appetite. I washed her up and got her to bed, then watched in awe as she slept. Amazingly, I was now a mommy!

She woke for her 2:00 a.m. feeding right on schedule. As I held her close and gave her a bottle, she watched me with those dark eyes and seemed to decide that I wasn’t so bad after all. When she smiled at me the next morning I knew we would be all right.

We spent four more days in Chongqing while the babies’ papers were processed and their Chinese passports issued. We did a little sight-seeing during this time, but spent most of the time getting to know our babies. Teaghan became more comfortable with me every day; smiling, laughing, and playing peek-a-boo! Our little group attracted lots of attention everywhere we went. Chongqing is a big city but does not get many American tourists. (The city has an American connection: During WWII the American Flying Tigers Squadron was stationed there to fight the Japanese. Chongqing was heavily bombed, and crude bomb shelters built into the mountains are still visible, and in some cases being used as housing. We also saw the remains of the American landing strips.)

The Chinese were friendly and curious about the babies.Some would ask, "Baby go U.S.A.?’ and then smile or nod and give a thumbs up when I said yes. So many people spoke at least some English and were eager to try it out on us. Others might stare, but usually responded to a smile. I really enjoyed trying to communicate. I had learned to say "Hello" and "Thank you" and had a card printed up in Chinese explaining that I was an American "adopting this beautiful baby and enjoying my time in China". I felt my interactions with the people I met really enriched my trip.

On April ninth Shi Gu flew with us to Guangzhou for the final phase of the trip. We had received the Chinese documents necessary to bring our babies home, and they were officially our daughters. Now we would go to the U.S. Embassy for the American paperwork. All American adoptees must go through the Guangzhou Embassy. Before our Embassy appointment the babies had to be photographed for their visas and have a medical exam at a Chinese clinic. In between we did some shopping and sightseeing. Guannzhou is subtropical and reminded me of New Orleans, right down to the Spanish moss on the trees (or is that Chinese moss?). The Embassy and its surrounds are on a small island and with all the water, lights, mild weather and Americans pushing strollers, it felt like summer at the Jersey shore!

I think we were all a bit nervous about the Embassy appointment. We all had the documentation we had compiled at home and in China and we had been sure to keep it with us at all times. I couldn’t help but worry in case something was missing or incorrect. We had to pass through several security checks, manned by armed American soldiers, to get into the Embassy, which looked like every overseas embassy scene I’d ever seen on TV or in the movies, minus an "angry mob"!

Of course , everything was fine. The American official who interviewed me was very pleasant. We chatted a bit, then she had me raise my right hand and swear to love and keep Teaghan as my daughter. It really hit home then and I thought at that moment about my father, who had passed away in 1992, and how proud he would have been of his new granddaughter.

On April 12 Teaghan and I said goodbye to the rest of our group and flew back to Beijing. Again we were met and taken to a hotel by an agency representative, then brought back to the airport the next morning for the return flight to the U.S. I requested and got a bulkhead seat which gave us much more leg room. On all the flights the babies were required to sit on their mothers’ laps, but this time Teaghan was able to sleep in the empty seat next to me. The stewardess even fastened a box into the seat so I was able to make her a little nest. The flight staff was very helpful and attentive, and Teaghan slept comfortably for much of the journey.

We cleared Customs and Immigration in Detroit with no problems, and Teaghan again was an excellent traveler, and the center of attention on the flight to Newark. As we reached the baggage claim area, I was so glad to see my mother, sister, and brother-in-law waiting for us. What a wonderfully memorable moment. Teaghan met her new family and it was love at first sight. Departing passengers from our flight stopped to congratulate us, and a white stretch limo (arranged by my family) pulled up to whisk us home.

Soon I was carrying Teaghan into my house, which was now our home. She and I had forged a bond in China that was growing deeper and stronger every day. It had taken many months and a trip halfway around the world, but Teaghan was home at last, right where she belonged.